Updated: Apr 28, 2021
Congratulations! That is the first signal that something inside you is looking for new challenges and experiences. This was the moment that made me move my situation and quit my job almost 10 years ago. But the truth is, I waited too long. It was more than three days in a row that I got up and when I looked in the mirror I said, why am I doing maintaining this lifestyle?
I imagine it happens to many people ... Some make the jump after three days, others like me take longer, and there are other people who will never make the move. But, what is the condition that makes some do it? I've thought about it a lot and I think the condition that will determine whether or not you jump is how we manage fear. When this moment appears in our life, each of us is in different situations on a personal, professional and family level. Depending on this, our survival instinct will act in line with our intellect to "reason" if I should make the leap or not, if I am prepared or not, if I will be able to support myself financially or not, and so on. This begins to generate emotional stress and one of the most primitive emotions that we have related to this survival instinct is fear. In addition, when fear appears, we try to camouflage it with other things, it is difficult for us to recognize that we are afraid. If someone says to us: "If you are so fed up with your job, why don't you quit?" We answer: I have to pay the mortgage, the children's school, the electricity bill ... but in reality, behind each of those justifications or excuses, there is fear. It is your ego who creates all these "reasons." At this point, many people tell me, of course, but you left everything at the age of 27 when you had no children or responsibilities ... Given this answer I ask, do you think I was not afraid? Do you think I didn't have things to pay for and responsibilities to attend to? I was scared and I had responsibilities to attend too. The difference is how one manages fear and the situation he is in. If you are 27 or 30 years old, I don't care, you don't have children and your responsibilities are few, what are you waiting for to face fear? To have children ...?! If you are at this point of wanting to leave everything and open new paths but have responsibilities to attend to, such as family, mortgage, bills, I am happy to tell you that it is still possible to change your life. Only the process is going to be a bit longer.
The level of responsibilities each one has are part of the choices we have made in our life. If you have three children, you have bought a house with three floors, you have the luxury car at the door and you have three employees, your decisions will make the road a little more complex and requires better preparation than a person who does not have those possessions and family situation. You are also in a very good situation. If you have been able to reach that level of responsibilities, it is because you have a great capacity for work, professionalism and discipline that are valuable to start your new path.
Let's go back to fear ... Generally fear is a break for all of us. But in reality, fear does not appear to stop us, but to show us we need to study the situation well and take the steps with determination and security. Fear is a teacher ... It is there to tell us, "Be careful, the road involves dangers, but to achieve what we are looking for we must walk to the end. Measure your steps." The big problem we have is that since we were little we have been educated in the culture of fear: "don't do that, you can cut yourself", "don't go up there you will fall", "if you do that you will get hurt". In other words, they have not taught us to manage fear and also the entire media system induces us to be in a situation of permanent subconscious fear.
So how do you manage fear and take the step to change your situation? It's very easy ... What you have to do is studying and draw up a realistic and achievable plan. And this is the secret of being able to start a process of personal and life transformation. Like the worm that has to spend time inside the chrysalis to complete its metamorphosis, you are going to go into a process of metamorphosis into a chrysalis on a mental level. And this is the most difficult process that comes in. Humans have a bad habit of clinging to old beliefs and mental patterns. In addition, we do not know that our conscious mind is based on the mental patterns that we have installed in our subconscious throughout our lives influenced by our parents, family, teachers, friends, bosses, etc ... And what is a mental pattern? It is simply a habit. And happily, if you change habits, you re-educate your subconscious mind. In other words, you change the software. In this way, we can eliminate habits or change them for others that go according to our goals, in order to go through a process of strengthening the new habits that will be the engine of our life change. There are techniques to identify old patterns that do not work and to establish new patterns. This process is delicate and requires time and discipline. Remember that you are a worm that has to transform into a beautiful butterfly...
To finish this post I would like to give you some important points when drawing up a plan that is realistic and achievable.
1. Identify your purpose, why are you doing it?: This is the root of the entire tree that will grow from now on. It is the original seed. My initial purpose was that I wanted to travel around the world, when I achieved that dream, my purpose changed. Now I do what I do so that I can do the things I like and have time and freedom to be with the people I love. Surely in the future, it will change, the important thing is that it is clear, real and true.
2. Think carefully about what you want to do, what you want to do to be at the service of society: There is tremendous power in wanting. What happens is that generally, we do not know well what is what we want. To warrant our survival we all have to be at service. Due to the bad educational system and the demands of the consumer and industrial society, most of the people are not at the service in what they really want. That is why our lives become hell. And how do you find what you want to do? Take a look at your passions. In the book "The Element" by Ken Robinson it is concluded that the happiest and most successful people internationally, reached personal and professional success because they were doing what they loved to do. Do something you love and everything will be fine.
3. Dispense with everything that is not strictly necessary: For this, you have to establish a priority list in which you set your goals and what you will not need to achieve them. In the transformation process, the less is the new more. At first, it is a bit hard to let go of certain things, it is a part of the ego and the attachment to the material that the mind has. Then you find the pleasure of living lighter and letting go of what you don't need. Simplicity and humility are the best allies to have a fuller and truer life.
4. Don't seek recognition or approval of your decisions and new plans unless you are working with a lifestyle changing coach. Your family, friends and closest ones are not going to be your allies in this new stage. Without them knowing it, you are going to be a very strong mirror in which they do not want to see themselves reflected. That is why their ego will do everything possible to criticize your decisions and steps. Prepare yourself emotionally and psychologically to go through difficult periods with these people. It's nice to have someone to lean on, but sadly it won't be someone in your closest circle almost certainly.
The path of lifestyle change is tough, but it's harder to continue your life doing something you don't want to. Think about it and face your fear ...
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